An Open Letter to Pittsburgh Weather
Dear Pittsburgh Weather,
I am aware that you are currently pleasing a great many stupid people constituents by your recent and rather unexpected decision to let the sun out of its seasonal prison, however, I am pissed off not one of those pleased persons. The appearance of the sun not only makes it difficult to sleep all day get all the rest I am required, but causes me to throw things at people and/or objects such as the sun be generally grumpy as well.
While I agree that it is not your job to keep me from being a horrible person feeling grumpy, I would appreciate it if you would consider smashing the sun with a sledge hammer returning your normal patterns of benevolence towards us highly superior creatures happy inhabitants of your great city.
-A disgruntled and pregnant Pittsburgher. (Did I mention pregnant?)
P.S. I don’t know if this concerns you, but I lost my blue pajamas with the little moon faces on them and despite my best efforts they remain MIA. If you happen to see them could you let me know? K, thanks.
